I partially love that I get ignored when J is around with the girls. Yesterday, the girls came home from school, forgetting he had driven north for his Monday night gig, shouting his name, looking for him.
It made me weepy, because I wanted him to be there too.
Being a mom is partially about cleaning up silly putty from the carpet, yet mostly about how it feels by the end of the day when they are in bed and I feel like I spent quality time and handled every up and down graciously throughout the day.
It’s amazing how they come home from school at 3 and by 7, I am wiped already and I wonder “how on earth did I do it without killing someone, or myself, when they were 2 and 4 and I was a new single mom and the only relief was when they both actually slept?
I hardly remember those days.
Yesterday, I looked at my kids, who were tired from their weekend with their dad, who admitted that the Circus scared them, after years of him taking them, and thought about how much I love them and how proud I am of who they are.
And I told them so.
You know what they said?
“Does that mean we can watch some tv tonight?”
Why yes, yes…I am so frickin’ tired, and so proud of you, you get to watch tv for the first time in a month!
And so, they did.
At any rate, I am sitting here watching YouTube videos while eating a lunch of butternut squash soup and ritz crackers, hardly a substitute for the icecream sundae I would much rather be eating.
J was up north for the night, playing piano.
I am considering sitting on my ass and updating my website (with my paintings) but can’t decide if I should do that or actually PAINT.
I picked up J Sunday night from the airport, drove an hour to Logan in the snow and sleet and wind and rejoiced in something I have never experienced….The Cell Phone Lot.
How cool is that?
The one drawback is that there was no bathroom and MAN did I have to pee. Thankfully, he landed right as I was pulling in and only had to wait fifteen minutes for a McDonalds bathroom stop on the way home. Three days without him was nice in a way, to get stuff done, watch my own television stuff, eat Luna bars and drink lots of coffee in the morning. I even bought a loaf of monkey bread.
Upon returning home from our drive from Logan, in the storm, it was midnight before we went to sleep. He fast forwarded through a very uninteresting football game and when the alarm rang at 5:45 in the morning for me to get out of bed to drive back down to Boston to pick up the girls from their dad’s and bring them to school, I could hardly move.
My man, who usually keeps sleeping, got up with me and drove me to Boston to get them.
I love him.
Today is a half day of school, which means I had three hours exactly to get a few things done, take a walk and finish a few paintings.
As other mothers roll their eyes at the half day and question of “what to do with my kids today?”, I am psyched to just hang out with them, get out some paint, order lunch in, clean their room up and then get on to their tennis class later this afternoon.
J will be home soon.
I was thinking last night, as I slept with a turtleneck, sweatshirt, wool socks, and sweatpants AND a heated pillow (one of those microwavable things), how much it sucked last year to not have him here. One night a week isn’t so bad now, in retrospect, but I still prefer going to sleep with him beside me.
I’ll never take it for granted.