This is how I feel.
I stood there over J, who was flat on his back on the ground under my car, in nice clothes, after lunch out yesterday. And I am thinking, “this man loves me.”
I had started the car up and the engine was loud, like my muffler had been chopped. You know, like when the kids back in the day wanted a loud car to be cool.
But this was not cool.
So, he’s lying under the car in the snow and salt and mud and I hear, “your pipe is cracked”.
It was ever so slight and he thought I might be okay driving the kids down to Boston to their dad’s later in the day.
So the girls and I set off at 4, he was already on the road in his car to go play a gig. And I heard a horrible high pitched dragging sound that was actually slightly confused by the girls’ new Nintendos that they were playing in the back seat. I pulled over and sure enough, the pipe had broken and was dragging. And then I lost complete power in my car, no power steering, no lights, no heat.
At any rate, I love my car, it was my first car ever, 9 years old (yeah, my first car was when I was 28 years old, imagine that) 2001 Subaru Outback Wagon. I love it.
It’s as old as Red.
There is a possibility I will decide to buy a new car. I’ve put 5k into this one in the last two years, so it may be time to bid this one goodbye and spend some money and gain some piece of mind. The last thing I want is another breakdown in the dead of winter, farther away from home, perhaps, with my kids in the car, with no heat, or cell reception, or whatever….
Anyway, soon after, my mom came to rescue the girls and take them back to my house to get them some food. I waited in a very cold car, because I also lost complete power, for an hour, waiting for the tow truck. After he came and towed my car to the car place, I walked home in the freezing cold. (just a quarter of a mile or so). I barely felt it, I was upset, mad and annoyed.
My mom was a saint and we drove the kids the hour south to their dad’s and back again, in snow and sleet and ice.
When she dropped me off at home, I took a shower and went to bed.
I’m thinking “bad reality tv” and nachos today.
I am working on a new painting, because I haven’t painted since November.
I’m doing my end of the year financials for my tax guy.
I will do the laundry.
And maybe then, will lounge under ten layers of comforters in bed, eating leftover cake frosting with a spoon and watching bad reality tv on Hulu while I wait for J to come home.