I don’t even know where to begin

Sometimes big things happen, sometimes small, I just want to be sure I don’t miss anything.

Lately, I’ve been sitting here at home with the kids, looking at them, thinking, “How on earth did they get so grown up?”

I mean, it’s to a point where I feel like I can’t remember being home with them 24-7 when they were babies, I barely remember what it was like to have their little bodies snuggled up to mine when they nursed. I mean, I don’t remember alot, I remember it was good, but there are so many details that feel so far away. Some of them, almost ten years way back.

So, Red, who is 9, needed something like a trainer bra.

Yes, that’s what I said, and I can’t believe it.

Maybe not even so much a trainer bra, as a tank top underneath her tshirts. Something with a built in, extra layer. I am glad she surprised me by being excited about it and not embarrassed by the thought of something like that.

We went to Target and along with buying some new clothes for the girls for Spring, I told her we would get her some tank tops/bralettes for little girls.

Well, she led me to the rack with big padded bras and pointed “I want those”.

Holy Mother of GOD.

I stifled an amused giggle, and told her that in a few years, yes. But for now, we got cotton, UNPADDED (but cute, they make these things cute now) bralettes.

She is terribly cute, putting them on every day.

On a larger level, I just got home from signing a very large check as well as a purchase and sale for our business.

There is so much more to do and still a big negotiating thing to work out on the lease of the space, that could be a deal breaker, but we really hope not. We hope this works out, but if it doesn’t, we know another place will come to light, and all that we are doing is educating ourselves to be ready for the next thing.

But still.

I signed on the line. And I handed over some big money.


7 responses to this post.

  1. I know what you mean about forgetting… My boy is 10 now and those baby-days seem so far behind us. But if I close my eyes and let my body remember – that cold, cold night when he was crying and not sleeping at 2 in the morning and nothing I did helped… I finally wrapped us both up in a blanket and we sat out on the deck and looked at the sky with stars so close you could almost touch them. In the cold, wrapped in a blanket and snuggled up to Mom, he finally slept. We spent the night out there, just the two of us under the stars. Sometimes I can remember how that felt.

    Congratulations on the big, big check – Keeping my fingers crossed for you and your new venture!


  2. I’m not replying to the bra part, mostly because I’m scarred for life by my own experience recently with my 10 yr old. It’s just not right. They’re not allowed to get older.

    Good luck on the biz, sounds like you’re doing it the right way – doing it on your terms or waiting for it to happen on your terms. Good luck!


  3. My oldest turns 18 in May, so I am REALLY freaking out about that. I do remember her as a baby and a little girl and she still loves me to tell her stories about what a pain in the arse she was back then. ha ha.


  4. My equivalent big day with Skyler was the first time I shaved his chin.


  5. I remember holding my babies close and smelling them and trying to sear the feel of them, all those sensations, into my memory forever, knowing it would never be the same as at that moment… their little feet, their head in the crook of my neck, their outstretched arms, their fat little thighs, all of it.

    It didn’t work. I feel like I don’t remember half the things I wanted to, even when I wrote/photographed/took video. And I miss them. Ugh – tears, now.

    Anyway. Congratulations on the P&S… very exciting stuff!


  6. The bras really drive home the “you’re not a baby anymore” thing. Ugh!
    Hope the signing of papers and the check means things are rolling in the right direction.


  7. Wow. Big changes. The least of which NOT being that your 10-year-old needed an undershirt. I am SO not ready for that.

    Hoping for the best re: the bar. 🙂


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